How Can I Get my Baby to Sleep Through the Night?
Summary: Frustrated parents wonder, "How can I get my baby to sleep through the night?"  Opinions differ, but you will probably find the best way for your baby by following the wisdom of your own heart.

Are you wondering, "How can I get my baby to sleep through the night?"  You are not the first one.  When Baby wakes up several times, or even stays awake during the night, it means Mom and Dad (or at least Mom!) are losing sleep as well.  This leads to crankiness in everyone.  Fortunately, it is never to late (or early) to start to teach that little one a routine of good sleep habits, which will most likely lead to sleeping though the night.

First of all, though, you are probably aware already that there are a number of authors and peddlers out there who have something to sell you which they promise will fix your problem.  Most of them offer a method that is some variation on the old advice to "let the baby cry it out."  In other words, they usually advocate a rigid schedule of sleeping, and if the baby doesn't like the schedule, oh, well.  He'll get used to it.

Does that sound less than loving?  Some experts think so.  While it might solve the short term problem of wanting to sleep through the night, a heartless approach like this can cause future problems that are more insidious.  The most serious problem it can cause is that of a breach of trust between you and your child. 

One of the most important things your baby is learning in these early months is that she is loved and that her needs will be met.  She is learning that if she cries, you will respond with what she needs.  This basis of trust and confidence is needed as a foundation for the future.  Yes, it needs to be wisely balanced with encouraging independence, but the first month or two are not the time to do that.

Really, if you follow your heart, you will go to the crying baby and try to find out what is wrong.  It bothers a normal mother to let her baby cry it out.  So what is normal for a baby?  For one thing, it is entirely normal for a baby to wake up wanting to be fed during the night.  Most babies don't need night feedings by the time they are six months old, but if that is the only time they wake up, and all they need is a few minutes of nursing, you might find that you enjoy those fleeting moments with the baby in the quiet house.

In fact, listening to your heart is really pretty good advice.  If a baby has never slept well or seems to be inconsolable, there may be a medical reason why he or she can't sleep.  Is the baby gassy?  It could be heartburn or an allergic reaction to the formula you are using.  Do you notice a yellow discharge from the ears or nose?  The baby might have an ear infection.

But barring all medical problems and genuine need for food, the fact remains that some babies simply resist sleeping.  What can you do to help them get to sleep?  

First of all, be prepared to find your own best way of getting the baby to sleep.  There might be some help in someone's advice, but if it doesn't feel right to you, and especially if it doesn't work after a night or two of fair trial, try something different.  No one else can tell you what is right for your baby.

Find out where your baby is the most likely to sleep well.  Some babies like the closeness to Mom that is offered by a co-sleeper, while others genuinely do better in a quiet crib all by themselves.  Try a separate spot if you haven't yet.  Comfort the baby, lay him down with a soothing sound, such as a musical mobile, and exit the room.  Give him five minutes, or ten if you can stand it.  If the baby quiets down and falls asleep, great.  If not, don't torture him any longer.  Comfort him again and try something different.

Some so-called experts tell new moms not to put their child to sleep by nursing them.  This goes against centuries of common sense baby care.  There's not a thing in the world wrong with letting your baby go to sleep nursing.  In fact, if you're in a comfortable recliner or have a co-sleeper and learn to nurse lying down, it might be just the sleeping "pill" you need, too!

What do you do with your little one during the day?  The more time you can spend together, comforting them and playing with them, the more likely they will be to feel relaxed and secure, and will be able to drift off to sleep without so much of a fight.  Plus, if you go on outings or play together some, the baby is more likely to be tired at night.

Also, try to keep everyone on a consistent schedule of naps and bedtime rituals, such as a warm bath and changing into pajamas.  A regular schedule can be a challenge in a home with two working parents, but it is worth establishing.  In some families, it works well to have a late afternoon nap and a later bedtime.  The important thing is to not get discouraged, but try new methods, and find what style of sleeping works for your own family.