what does it take to be a parent
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Unfortunately babies do not come with an instructions kit or a guarantee, sadly if they were made in Hong Kong parents would get a manual. Parenting classes are becoming ever more popular and they can provide very useful information. However the short answer is that babies need love, care and security to grow up into confident adults, but they do not need perfect parents – perfectionism brings with it its own pressures.
Despite many articles on what does it take to be parents, there are still a lot of parents if not all that feel woefully inadequate. We all have a perfect concept of parenthood, forgetting that a perfect parent is an ideal state and impossibility; but then you have not got a perfect child either.
All parents know what not to do in the senses that know that slapping children is unacceptable behaviour in a child. Building a relationship with a child can seem daunting, but also you have to remember that the age your baby is when you begin parenting, they are not going to remember, and there is no inauguration test.
Listen to your children and respect their views, they have a right to an opinion. However as much as you can listen to your children and be their friend you are still their parent and you have a responsibility as a parent. Children need boundaries to feel secure, they will kick against those constraints, but that is a necessary part of growing up. Children are just that - children not yet capable of making their own decisions.
Your child is not there to live your dreams or fulfil your ambitions, a child should ideally be loved unconditionally, and their unique personalities and traits treasured. Having said that knowing everything that there is to know about child psychology does not guarantee that you will able to foster a sense of confidence and self esteem in your child. Sometimes some children are born shy and all the boosting of their confidence in the world will not change that.
Single parents can often feel inadequate as parents because they are told that a child needs two parents. Whilst a role model from both sexes can be useful for a child it is not the end of the world when that does not happen. Single parents can and do love their children unconditionally and do a sterling job against all odds. Yet they continue to beat themselves up about it.
It is never a good idea for a child to be exposed to rows and disagreements, partly because it sends to them the message that discussion does not solve all arguments. They can take it as carte blanche that they can treat their friends and siblings in the same manner.
When you are rowing constantly with your partner then being a single parent can be a safer option. Of course a small number of parents lose a parent through death and still manage to raise well adjusted children. It is nonsense to say that single parents are inadequate; they are often hard pressed, over tired, stressed and anxious they may be, but bad a parent they are not.
The more that you practise listening to your child and trying to understand your child the easier the process gets. It has to be remembered that the learning processes for a child starts at birth. Parenthood starts at that time as well it is as important to ensure that you eat well in pregnancy and look after your own health. It goes without saying the the mother should not drink or smoke during pregnancy. Fathers can also learn to share the burden by being supportive during the tremendous changes that occur.
Many parents find that their ability to be a good parent grows exponentially with the effort that they put into it. It is worth parents remembering that children themselves tend not to expect perfect parents; they are tolerant of human foibles. They appreciate that they are shown love and told how much they are valued on a day to day basis. Fifty years ago it was assumed that you were naturally a perfect parent and an odd lapse or a mistake would scar a child for life, but children are amazingly resilient. Your job is to foster secure happy children with social skills who can adapt to different situations. Your children will not judge your each and individual move.
Promoting the wellbeing of children requires sustained commitment from a range of people and their governments and institutions, among whom there will be divergent views about roles and responsibilities towards children.
